


Everyone Must Stand Alone

by faithinthepoor



Series: Glee [9]
Category: Glee
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-16
Updated: 2013-01-16
Packaged: 2017-11-25 17:42:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/641370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faithinthepoor/pseuds/faithinthepoor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set following The Power of Madonna</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everyone Must Stand Alone

**Author's Note:**

> In my series this follows [I’m Not That Girl](http://archiveofourown.org/works/640810), [It Sucks to be Me](http://archiveofourown.org/works/640836), [Kiss Me Goodbye](http://archiveofourown.org/works/640850), [We All Have Sorrow](http://archiveofourown.org/works/640862), [I’m Not Myself Lately](http://archiveofourown.org/works/640884), [I Ain’t the Worst You’ve Ever Seen](http://archiveofourown.org/works/640900), [I Know That I’ve Got Issues](http://archiveofourown.org/works/640908) and [You’ll Never See What You’ve Done to Me](http://archiveofourown.org/works/641365)

Everything is just a little bit harder than it used to be. This is not some melodramatic statement regarding the impact of her emotional woes on her functioning, although that too would be accurate, but rather a factual observation of her increasing difficulty in completing simple tasks. Going to the bathroom should not be a Herculean effort for anyone and while she accepts that any attire is likely to be a little more time consuming that her old wardrobe of short skirts and spanky pants, her maternity wear is making things ridiculous. There are buttons and hooks and elastic in strange places and on top of this she has less room to manoeuvre than she use to and is often dealing with a more pressing need. She really should be getting better at this but she is failing her time trials on a regular basis. As a result she is not surprised to find the place deserted by the time she has finished in the toilet. Well deserted except for Rachel Berry.

Rachel looks at her with what she can only assume is pity and asks, “Are you ok?”

She feels her chest puff out in indignation and instantly regrets showing off her wares to Rachel. “I’m perfectly fine. I can manage on my own.”

“I just thought it might have been morning sickness.”

“Rachel it’s the evening and, as I said, I’m fine.”

“It’s just that you took a long time.”

“And why would you be keeping track of that?’ she snaps.

Rachel’s cheeks flush, “I’m not stalking or anything. I was just waiting around so that I could talk to you.”

“That kinda sounds exactly like stalking.”

“Think what you want,” Rachel sounds snippy.

“Hey I’m the one being stalked here.”

“Poor baby. At least I am not trying to send you to Israel.”

“You know I didn’t mean that.”

“Really? Cause you have a funny way of showing it.”

“What do you expect me to do?”

“Oh, I don’t know, treat me like a human being.”

“Rachel if I was nice to you people would get suspicious.” That much is true. She doesn’t want to hurt Rachel any more than she already has but she can’t afford to have people know that Rachel means something to her. Keeping up appearances is still very important in the world of Quinn Fabray. It’s part of the reason she does things like draw caricatures of Rachel with the words ‘loser’ attached. She’s not as good at keeping up appearances as she used to be however because those pictures should not have love hearts all over them.

“There’s nothing to be suspicious of and even if there were it doesn’t mean you have to will me out of the country or tell me that I am upsetting your baby.”

“I think it might.”

“You know for a while I actually thought you were different. I can’t believe I was so wrong.” Rachel looks at her with disappointment and distain before turning to exit.

“Rachel,” she doesn’t know what made her call out, Rachel was at the door, she was essentially home free.

“Yes.”

“I’m glad you didn’t sleep with Jesse.”

Rachel spins to face her. “How did you know that? Everyone thinks I did. Even Finn.”

“Finn is an idiot.”

“No he’s sweet and lovely.”

“Yes but he’s still an idiot.”

“He was nice to me in his own way.”

“He was nice to me too but sometimes that’s just not enough.” She hopes that Rachel understands what she is trying to say.

“I could have had him,” Rachel states with a wistfulness that makes Quinn want to slap her. Clearly Quinn’s message did not get through.

“You could have had me too.”

Rachel seems to reflect on this and stares at her intently. “No I couldn’t. Not in any way that mattered.”

“I had feelings for you,” it’s not a lie, she is just choosing not to mention the fact that those feelings haven’t gone anywhere, “that should have mattered.”

“You would never have been seen with me in public.”

“So how it would have looked to others is more important than how you feel?”

“I guess.”

“Weren’t you all pissy with me a minute ago over that same thing?”

“It’s not the same and I don’t appreciate you messing with me to prove a point.”

“I wasn’t,” and she really means that. She hadn’t realised where the conversation was going and it was pure serendipity that allowed them to reach the point where she could draw the parallel. In future she will try to ignore serendipity and its accompanying light bulb moments, as clearly they are fraught with danger. 

“You just pretended to have feelings about me in order to make yourself look better. I call that being messed with. In fact I call that treason,” she watches as Rachel turns her hands into fists.

“That’s not what I did. Those feelings were real. I even thought they were going to go somewhere and whether you believe me or not I’m sorry that they didn’t.”  
Rachel looks like a cross between a goldfish and a deer. Her eyes are huge and registering shock and her mouth keeps opening and closing. “It’s ok I understand that you have Jesse now.”

“And you’re with Puck.”

“Yes I am,” she wonders if her voice sounds as sad to Rachel as it does to her.

“Maybe we could be friends.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Oh,” Rachel looks crushed and she hates that this keeps happening and that she repeatedly seems to be responsible for that look.

“I’m not sure I would be a very good friend to you.”

“You could try.”

“Rachel I don’t have friendly feelings towards you.”

“You sorta liked me for a moment there. Isn’t there even a little of that left that we could try and turn into a friendship?”

“Friends don’t dream about one another the way I dream about you and friends aren’t happy when you don’t sleep with your boyfriend and friends don’t want to do this all the time,” she crosses the room and plants her lips firmly on top of Rachel’s. 

“Why did you do that,” Rachel is definitely angry but Quinn likes to think that there is a flicker of something else behind her eyes.

“Because I wanted to.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“It should be,” Quinn shakes her head and corrects herself, “it could have been but things are different now.”

“Because I’m with Jesse?”

“I hope he’s good to you. I hope he makes you happy.”

“Why do I feel like you don’t mean that?”

“Give me a break. I like you Rachel. I do want you to be happy but you’ll forgive me if I don’t do a little dance number about you finding happiness with someone else.”

“He’s waiting in the car for me.”

“Of course he is,” she doesn’t bother to hide the bitterness but she does hold back a barb about Wiggles concerts and Carebears.

“No, I mean I have to go.”

“I understand.”

“But I’m not sure I want to.”

She does her best to stamp on the hope that statement spawns. Hope is her enemy nowadays, “Which is why you need to go.”

“How can I go be with him when I don’t know that I don’t want to be here?”

“Rachel if you wanted to be here you would be. Now go and be with him, I’m sure you two will make lots of little Broadway babies.”

“I’m way too young for children, I have my life ahead of……oh I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m way too young to be a mother too.”

“Quinn,” Rachel’s voice is soft and she is dangerously close.

“Just go. Please just go.” Rachel complies with her request and leaves. Even with her eyes shut Quinn knows that Rachel lingers at the door and she forces herself to remain frozen in case she lures Rachel back in. She’s not sure that she could let Rachel walk out the door a second time and Rachel deserves a chance to try and figure out what it is that she really wants.

When she is sure that she is alone she opens her eyes and looks down at her bump whispering, “I guess it’s just you and me baby.”


End file.
